I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
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Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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