Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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