pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
