what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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