if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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