Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If that was your dad, he is hot
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
