Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
