there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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