see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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