Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
