too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
