I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
