So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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