How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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