You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
