Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
