Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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