My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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