i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
