I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You may now shotgun with the bride
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
