Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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