I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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