I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just gargled with NyQuil
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
