I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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