just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
