do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
