Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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