I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am puke
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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