I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
