Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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