He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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