Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
