I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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