So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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