dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
