I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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