is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What a dumb baby whore.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
