Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize