:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
