She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize