Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize