walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize