The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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