Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
