I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize