You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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