I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
