Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
