Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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