your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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