party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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