1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
