Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
