is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
