This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Life is so much better after having sex.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The air was thick with penises
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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