u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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