I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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