Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize